“One of the most painfully inauthentic ways we show up in our lives sometimes is saying “yes” when we mean “no,” and saying “no” when we mean “hell yes.”” ~ Brené Brown
No is a complete sentence.
The word no has helped simplify so many things in my life since I learned how to use it properly. Removing the excuses or jokes after providing this response to put others at ease reduces the amount of stress associated with no longer unconsciously trying to please everyone.
People usually have their own interests in mind when they ask you to do something. Your own well being isn’t the top priority. If you don’t put yourself as a priority; other people will not take care of this for you.
Agreeing to do something that you feel the other person asked you to do because it would benefit you is a misconception. The person asking you to do something, if you take a moment to think about it, has something to gain from you doing the request. It could be a monetary gain or just personal satisfaction that they were responsible for making the action happen.
Simply thinking about it this way reduces the complex ideas that run around in our minds about the source of different requests and why the other person would want us to do something. Its not for you – its for them.
Keeping this in the back of your mind, a no response is sufficient whenever the request is not something that will positively impact you. If the request comes from a place of self interest on the requestors behalf; the response should come from a place of self interest on your behalf.
